A NEW APPROACH...

This month, instead of waiting until the end of May to grouse and complain about how I didn't meet my goals, I've decided to declare defeat early...

Here it is, 11 days to go, and I'm just going to have to say it: my resolutions are in the toilet. Flush. Zip up the fly. Walk out of the stall.

For all of my great intentions, I have just not been cutting it with the diet. In fact, my focus has pretty much waned to nothing. I ate like I was on death row all weekend, then blew it out at Ruth's Chris last night... ridiculous, copious amounts of delicious food. I really didn't even feel guilty about it, which is a sign that I'm in really bad shape, mentally. Once I stop caring, it's hard to resurrect the willpower.

So I've decided to try another tactic to meet my resolutions. I'm envisioning positive changes and hoping they'll take root in my life. It's that whole cheesy "if you can see it, you can be it" thing. Maybe I should paper my refrigerator doors with photos of rock-solid abs. Heck, I don't even mind being a little doughy through the middle... I just don't want to look like Mrs. Butterworth anymore.

Mark has been a positive influence lately; he's doing NutriSystem again. I have to admire that... It's not pleasant in any way. It's ironic that my decline has come at the precise moment he's getting his nutritional act together. So that's one more reason to try harder. I'm stating my June goals early and giving myself plenty of time to meet them:

"I will lose 6 lbs before June 30 and I will shave off another $1,000 in debt".
(And I'm clicking my heels together and saying it aloud three times, just for good measure.)

The financial part I'm not so worried about. I've given up spending any money, with hardly a thought. Every month is getting me closer to that little red C350. And when the credit cards reach zero, it's on. I had nurtured the fantasy that our annual pay raises would be fantastic this year, and that I would somehow carve off all the debt in one fell swoop and run straight to the Mercedes dealership-- but then I woke up to reality! One can only build their car online so many times until the thrill wears off, though. Which leads me to wonder if a website exists, where I could build my own virtual waistline and watch the pounds melt away? That might be an interesting "if you can see it, you can be it" exercise... well, for my fingers, anyway. I know the real effort of weight loss takes place between your ears.

Ok, so let's recap. I was a stinker in May. And now I'm telling the negative thoughts that they are no longer welcomed in my head, rent-free. It's time to get the heck out. No more "if you can see it, you can eat it" mindset!

Look out, June 30... I'm heading your way! I may be traveling by foot instead of my '08 Mercedes-- but I'm enroute!