"PUT THAT TONGUE IN YOUR MOUTH AND EAT..." ADVENTURES IN DINING: PART DEUX

After the popularity of our visit to the Star of India two weeks ago, we've all been patting ourselves on the back for our collective culinary bravado-- and having avoided any major health scares or ill effects from the meal, we've decided it should be a regular institution. From now on, our little luncheon group will dare to find a different "greasy spoon" each time we eat out! Mikey G even coined a term to describe our new lunchtime haunts: Riskaurants. Me likey.

So today, we gave the ol' wheel of death 'n diarrhea another spin... and this time, it fell on me to choose the venue. Now, every time I pass through Springdale, I notice a bunch of new Mexican joints along both sides of 71-B. Most are kind of nondescript, small and have names that I can barely pronounce. And only one really sticks in my memory-- partly, because it's a little larger than the others and partly because there are usually quite a few cars there. So I said, "Let's try the Tesoro Beach Bar & Grill" and away we went.

We pulled up and saw the lettering on the windows: "$3.99 Lunch Specials". I'm thinking, "Score!!!" I mean, you can't expect much for four bucks these days, right? When we walked in, our nostrils were immediately met with the pungent smell of cleaning solutions-- and following the former dirty mop bucket / incense tear-gas combo from the last riskaurant, we all concurred that we were off to a promising start. We might actually like this place. We were the first diners to hit the joint today, so we were able to have a nice, long, apprising look around. Everything appeared to be spotlessly clean. I just had to apologize to my friends. Here we were, trying to tempt our gastronomical fate, and I had to go and pick a perfectly safe and sanitary place to eat?Sheesh. To myself, I was thinking, "We'll probably get ice in our drinks and everything." And sure enough.

So the waitress arrives, plops down the obligatory chips and salsa and proceeds to take drink orders while we browse the menu. And when I say menu, I mean it was about a five-page spread, full of dozens of options: Mexican, Salvadorean, tex-mex, lunch specials, a la carte, etc... And despite the lack of apparent risk here, el Gran Jefe decides to take one anyway: Taco de Lengua. Now, in case that doesn't sound sufficiently gross to you, please allow me to translate. Tongue Tacos. I ain't making it up, folks. Seriously.

Take a look for yourself... those are radishes on top, by the way. I'm not sure if you can tell from the photo, but surprisingly, it looked quite palatable. I was comparing it to the grotesque lump that startles me when I accidentally look down and see a giant beef tongue in the meat case at the grocery store. This really just looked like any other cut of beef, grilled.

But a meal that can taste you back? Not for this chica. But Jefe actually found it quite yummy and said it just tasted like beef (makes sense, I guess). And he made a very happy plate, so who am I to quibble...

Mikey G opted for an almuerzo Salvadoreño and ordered the Tesoro Plate, which I would assume to be the house special for lunch. It certainly looked special, anyway (see photo at top of this post). He had a tamale, a couple of flautas, a really interesting-looking tostada with boiled egg and some feta-like cheese crumbles on top. He, too, made a plato feliz... clean as a whistle!

Brittnee chose to play it safe and ordered nachos-- which also looked very good and were almost completely consumed. This was a triumph over the four kidney beans she managed to gag down the last time we played this game. And since I'm firmly on point with my new year's diet, I'm low-carbing these days and ordered a plate of fajita meat. It's not very exciting, but a good choice without the tortillas and rice. I forgot to tell them to hold the sizzle, and despite that I somehow managed not to smell like Mexican food all day. I'm telling you, the gastro-gods smiled on us today.

Delicious food... reasonable prices... extremely friendly service... no peril. Ok, so that last part might have been a bit of a buzzkill at first-- but as Mikey G pointed out, that's part of the allure. When you try a new place, you take the good with the bad... and you just might find a fantastic new place to eat. Who knew? ¡Esto es loco!

Oh, I might also mention the assorted "specialty teas" that were on display by the register. There were three of them, but the one that really caught my attention was of the colon cleansing variety. I suppose that if we'd seen that as soon as we set foot on Tesoro sand, we would've had our first inkling that our brave pursuits were in vain. Everyone knows that any self-respecting riskaurant performs a good colon cleanse on its own terms, without the aid of herbal stimulants.