POLITICALLY CORRECT KITTY COLLARS

Well, I stopped in at Petco tonight, because Smidgey's starting to outgrow his collar and it's time for a new one. This is my first time to parent a quasi-outdoor cat, and I'm still kinda worried he'll go out one day and never come back-- so I'm really over-the-top-careful about his collar.

I'm forever polishing the tag and making sure the phone number is legible in case the unthinkable happens; I want the person who finds him to ring me as soon as they can stem the bleeding of their hands and forearms, hopefully before I even have a chance to realize he's missing. So of course collar-shopping was a major decision: I needed something safe and comfortable for him, and of course it had to coordinate with his eyes and coloring [I wish I was lyin'... ] And when I finally found one in the right size, and that I liked, I flipped it over to read the back of the package. And that's when I saw the lamest selling-point ever (and keep in mind, I work in Advertising so lame selling-points are my milieu... I mean, I've pretty much written-- er, seen-- it all):

"Removable bell attached for the safety of the local bird population".

Yo... Seriously???

Have we become so unfreakingbelievably PC these days, that it's now incumbent upon us to right the cruel injustices that exist within the food chain? Like our creator, in His infinite wisdom, didn't consider the delicate balance of nature and the universe? And I might disrupt the harmony of the animal kingdom if I act irresponsibly, buying an un-belled collar, and my cat maims a bird?

Give me a buh-reak.

Long story short, I bought the absurdly socially-responsible collar because it met all of the cute/comfortable/colorful criteria (read: "it looks good"). But I would've actually appreciated a brazenly truthful statement on the packaging, such as:

"Removable bell attached because it's simply adorable".

Or more appropriate in this case, "Removable bell attached because humankind needs a warning: This little JD will rip your shins to shreds".

PS-- I also bought a package of four glow-in-the-dark balls with bells in them, and they don't even glow. Buzzkill. I have to say it was kind of a lousy night for belled petcare accoutrements. I turned off every light, lamp and nightlight in the house to find this out. Thank goodness I bought the collar with the bell, or else the little sprite could've done me some seeeerious damage.