"SURVIVOR SYNDROME" IN THE OFFICE

I sat down to write my usual "What-the..." Friday post, and even though I've been composing it in my head the past couple days, I just couldn't really get focused on it. My mind is preoccupied today. Unfortunately, it's been preoccupied the past couple months. The proverbial "pink slip" has darn near dominated my waking consciousness, and now it's all but dancing through my dreams too.

Around the office these days, the how are you doings are now most often answered with I'm just happy to be heres. Let me tell you it's hard to watch a department of 400+ dwindle to less than half that size. And it's very hard to sit just a few feet from someone, in a sea of 48"-tall cubes, and watch as their desk is packed up and they're whisked away to be told it's their last day. Harder still is knowing that good people-- people you like and respect-- are going to have to start all over somewhere else, but they probably don't have the foggiest notion of where. I mean, do most people really have a clear Plan B?

I've thought about it, as I'm certain most people have-- vaguely, in a fleeting, back-of-my-mind kind of way. I know I could always wait tables or work retail while pursuing my career options... I'm confident I could figure out a way to beat out a living; but at what level of sacrifice? As a single woman, no one else is going to make my mortgage in the meantime (besides, I wouldn't want them to... my pride and self-worth are very much wrapped up in taking care of myself!) I survived, and even thrived, after divorce so I know I'm capable of new and unexpected beginnings. But watching, with your own eyes, as it happens to others makes you stop and realize how woefully unprepared you'd be if the unthinkable happened to you. The meager "emergency fund", assuming you're lucky enough to have one, just doesn't stretch all that far.

In our workplace, the "right-sizing" started last fall. I've done a considerable post-mortem on it since then and don't really consider myself short-sighted, though I certainly wasn't aware of the magnitude at that time; honestly, I don't think anyone foresaw a slowdown of this scale. The first two casualties were right in my own area, with a couple of promotions/advertising employees; the advertiser was fortunately able to be moved to another area of the company that was starting to consider hiring of someone of a like skill-set, but the promotions guy was the first to actually be released. Voluntary non-paid time was encouraged through the holidays. Then a few days before Christmas, a wave of part-time/evening workers were let go and our department pared back business hours. After that, we breathed a sigh of relief, thinking it was all over and that we'd be back to normal in a few short months. It was about a month later that the next wave came, this time affecting more full-time employees. Then a few minor fringe benefits were cut, as well as several of the more esoteric programs, and most recently 401k matches and pay raises for office employees. Ironically, the things that have affected me most directly (401k and pay) were not really a blow... I had anticipated those for weeks before they were announced, and truly those are sacrifices that I'm happy to make if it keeps our business strong and positioned to excel in the future. But the last few layoffs have tugged at my heart something fierce. Maybe it's a cumulative effect, or maybe it's just the overall gnawing of uncertainty. But as I wheeled my cart through the grocery store last night, I had a feeling that just wouldn't go away. I couldn't quit thinking about my former comrades. I wondered how many of them, ill-prepared for a layoff, might be struggling right now. Even as I filled up my basket, and today as I've continued in my normal routine, the empathy I feel for them is immense.

All things considered, we've been fortunate; so many of the folks who've been cut have been placed in other areas of the company. Even some who weren't transitioned right into other roles have since been brought back to interview for jobs and have landed them. Our HR department and managers seem to have handled the situation with grace, sincerely wanting to do the best they can for these folks.

I feel grateful to have been relatively unaffected by the shake-up. But that leads me to the essence of this post. I say "relatively unaffected" in a direct sense, but what I really mean is that it's impossible not to be affected, at least on some level. I recently read an article from an HR expert, doling out tips to dislocated workers... it was full of sage job-seeking advice, and one of the tips was "give yourself time to mourn". The gist of it was that even though folks have to pick themselves up and keep going, they also need time to grieve and process what has happened. I think that's very true. I also think it's true for the ones who are left standing.

"Survivor Syndrome" usually has to do with those who live through tragic plane crashes, auto accidents, wars, natural disasters and the like. But it has meaning in the workforce these days, as well. The mix of emotions and guilt that trauma survivors experience is not completely unlike the feelings of those in an office where layoffs have occurred. There's a sense of loss mingled with niggling questions like "Is it over?" "Could it happen again?" and "Could it happen to me next?"

I keep trying to put all of these feelings into perspective, and I'm sure it will come with time. I have to think that, for some, the layoffs were probably a blessing in disguise: a chance for a fresh beginning in a job that will offer growth. For others, perhaps it's a chance to regroup, with a severance package to cushion the blow, before tackling something they didn't have the courage to try. I remind myself that this is how opportunity is born; circumstances are often a nudge for those of us who are too timid to crawl out of our comfort zones willingly. I hope that's how it works out for all my erstwhile coworkers, anyway. I'm wishing for nothing but the brightest of futures for all of us.