We all know the United States Postal Service credo: "Neither rain, nor sleet, nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds". It's a good credo, a noble mission. And I think the good folks in uniform live up to it. They deliver in the heat, the ice and driving storms of every kind, and many do it on foot. It's impressive and very respectable. But wanna know what will potentially keep your mail from landing in the box in timely fashion?
Tight pants, big thighs and chafing around the... uh... well, the... inseam.
So a Washington state postal professional by the name of Dean Peterson has been petitioning that he and fellow carriers be allowed to complete their routes sans-pants. Not totally, however. He wants to wear a kilt. And it isn't so he can proudly represent his Scottish heritage, mind you. He's a 6' tall, 250-lb man of Norwegian/Finnish ancestry-- presumably with huge thighs and a sweating crotch. He just happens to have developed a love for kilts, ever since his wife brought him one back as a souvenir from a trip to Scotland. He explains that it's all about comfort in the nether regions. Thank God the wife didn't choose Hawaii as a vacation spot-- otherwise, he might be crusading to make rounds in a grass skirt.
As part of his campaign, Mr. Peterson waged a huge effort by mail (nice touch!), sending out over 1,000 letters to persuade the National Letter Carriers Association that "male unbifurcated garments" are better-suited for the male anatomy. (I feel a little tawdry using the word unbifurcated, by the way... it just sounds dirty, doesn't it? Like Chris Hanson might step out from behind a curtain or the local authorities might confiscate my computer as evidence in my L&L tr
ial!)
Anyway, Mr. Peterson (far right) implored his peers to "open your hearts-- and inseams". The poor guy got shot down... but undaunted, he says he will take it to the next postal convention in Anaheim in 2010. I hope he does! Another supporter of the uniform addition (far left) asserts that kilts look professional and would promote esprit de corps, adding that "whenever you see someone in a kilt, they're always standing tall." I can only assume he means that in the literal sense... there's a big difference in standing tall and standing at attention! Especially in a pleated skirt!
I don't know why this story struck me so funny... But the fellow said he's now wearing his kilts to his son's football games and even while doing yard work. Oh, yeah, that's why it struck me so funny. If I ever saw a dude mowing a yard in a skirt, I'd have to pull my car over for fear of hitting another mailbox. Hmmm... Now, wouldn't that be ironic?
1 comments:
Nice wrap up with hitting the mailbox. Your blogs are always fun.
You know why kilts were invented don't you? Zippers scare the sheep... That said, maybe you better lock up the cats. A postman with no zipper is kinda like an ice cream truck driver with no annoying music, the sound should give us a fighting chance.
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