2008 RESOLUTIONS... TESTING. TESTING.

Well, as much as I hate to admit it, my resolve took a bit of a dive in March. I definitely followed the old, familiar adage about March: in like a lion, out like a lamb. Quite possibly the most passive lamb in the whole darn herd.

So in true-Ju form, I must commemorate this post with another loser-themed tune, and this time it's Little River Band's Lonesome Loser. See, just like the dude in the song, I'm a loser but I still keep on trying!

Sit down, take a look at yourself
Don't you want to be somebody?
Someday somebody's gonna see inside
You have to face up, you can't run and hide.

I know, I'm kinda showing my age again on this one. But LRB was awesome... I could just as easily apply the words to Cool Change here, too. But that would just rate me another point on the cheese-o-meter. So let's get down to brass tacks. How did I really do in March?

I set a goal to lose 7 lbs, which I didn't reach. I only dropped 6 lbs, bringing my total to 27 lbs for the year. I had several hurdles along the way: Corned beef sandwiches at Oaklawn, birthday cake (carrot cake from a fantastic bakery, nonetheless), Easter candy, and one absurdly carb-laden trip to Johnny Carino's that dang-near laid me up for 24 hours. And my Stamina In-Stride XL also got very lonely.

Now, onto the fiscal goals, which moved at an even more glacial pace than their physical counterparts. I only paid $500 toward my credit bills. I know, I feel just rotten about it. I don't know what got into me... all month long, I shelled it out like I'd just won the lotto or struck Texas tea. First, I went to buy the iPhone that I was strong enough to resist last month. I was hoodwinked by the slick-talking AT&T guy and instead got a Moto Q, which set me back almost as much except for the $50 rebate I'll supposedly receive before I die.

The second temptation was lurking just around the corner, assuming the form of custom-framework. I know framing doesn't sound all that glamorous, but this was my biggest splurge, dollar-wise: I broke down and got the autographed Rolling Stones poster framed... now, since it's a one-of-a-kind piece of rock 'n roll memorabilia, I just couldn't skimp on it. We're talking velvet double-matting and a gorgeous frame that would make Mick Jagger change the words to "I Can't Get No Satisfaction". I'm oh-so-satisfied. Guilty, but pleased. It turned out beautifully and looks great in the office.

And last but not least, I dropped a bundle on bundles. Bundles of hair, that is. Yes, Spring is in the hair (I mean in the air) and it seemed an appropriate time for extensions. I don't know what to say. My priorities are all outta whack? I totally reverted back to my redneck roots. And in the interest of full disclosure, I'll also 'fess up and tell you that I've been cruising car lots again (well, just one... it beckoned me from the road) and fell in love with a sporty little navy blue BMW 325Ci. I have a terrible crush on it, but we will have to remain star-crossed lovers for now. A convertible is just not in my budget. Period. Nay, exclamation point. Get thee behind.

Fortunately, though, it's a new month and I've rallied. Back to Earth. I'm feeling strong once again. I've heaved up all of my misdeeds for all of blogdom to judge me, but my resolve is firm. I will lose 7 lbs and $1,000 of debt in April. I do have a mid-month vacation in Florida, and I'm sure there will be indulgences, both budgetary and dietary, but I have a good feeling.

Rome wasn't built in a day... and neither is a Goddess!